July Monthly Insight: An Inward Journey

An Inward Journey

I have to be honest; I feel weird writing about travel at the moment. One moment we have a travel corridor with certain European countries then it changes and anyone returning from Spain has to self quarantine when they return to the UK, putting us back to square one. The amount of uncertainty at the moment is crazy and it really feels as though our lives are on hold.

But the hardest thing for me has not been not travelling, it’s been my lack of freedom. To be able to sit in a coffee shop with my laptop and work, listening to the background noise of others going about their everyday lives, and the freedom of not being able to have my own space.

Travel for me isn’t a holiday. It’s a lifestyle choice. Before the pandemic I hadn’t stayed in one bed for longer than 3 weeks without moving onto somewhere else. Constantly changing my environment helps my creativity flow, and makes me feel alive. Without it, I feel stagnant.

The clarity and the focus that I had at the beginning of 2020, had been replaced by fear, overwhelm, panic, anger, sadness, guilt, and so many other range of emotions that I’m sure many others have faced. In April, I was planning to volunteer at Calais to write about my experience then travel through France scouting the country as a potential base before arriving back in Barcelona.

As someone who is a go getter, not being able to actually ‘go’ has been a challenge. Luckily, I have notebook after notebook from my travels of tips and advice for content, but travel is part of my DNA. It’s who I am and I need it to nourish my soul.

So, with eternal travel being limited, I have had no choice but to take an inward journey. To face anything that I have been trying to bury and give it the space to come up and heal.

Maybe travel was a way of me running away from things that I didn’t want to face? Being back in England for too long reminds me of what I don’t have: a house, a car, a husband, a child, and now, not even a job, having lost the majority of my income from my blog. It’s pushed me back to square one and said “there is no running now.”

Freedom to me isn’t just about freedom of travelling through borders, it’s freedom from the life that society tells you that you should have.

I have always tried to forge my own path in life and I know that you should never compare yourself to others; that everyone is on their own path. My life is a result of all the choices that I have made, yet I still feel like a ‘work in progress,’ and am reminded of the lack.

So many areas of my life are affected that it’s easy to fall into the ‘woe is me’ trap, which I honestly have been in several times. But that’s giving in and allowing external circumstances to affect me, instead of seeing it as an opportunity to reset those areas of my life. It’s as though I have a blank canvas and can choose what to paint on it.

What do I really want my home environment to look like? What do I actually want and need from a relationship? Is what I’m working on now really making me happy? Is there something else I can do for income that is more in alignment with my goals and vision that can help others?

Now is a time to think about the next chapter of life and be completely honest with myself on what I want that to look like, and to clear anything within me that has been blocking that path. To form new habits, new affirmations and ways of thinking, and new beliefs to match who I want to be and the life that I want to live. 

Yes this time is a challenge but… this time is meant as a reset.

Anything that we have been trying to bury or run away from is coming up for us to heal.

Any nudges that life had been giving us is now openly knocking at our internal door. Whether it’s feeling unfulfilled in a job that is no longer in alignment with our beliefs, a relationship that is no longer nourishing our soul, or friendships that have become toxic and draining to us.

We have the choice to be a victim to our environment and situation or to rise above it. Nothing is permanent and travel has always taught me that. As much as the situation we are facing as a planet sometimes feels as though it may be permanent, it is only temporary. So the question is; do we give into it and waste more months of our life wishing for it to be over or do we embrace it and allow it to be a gift?

We will hopefully never experience another time like this in our lives, so let’s use this time wisely. Yes it comes with restrictions at the moment, but we have the choice of how we react to it.

Do we keep distracting ourselves with another Netflix series: keep scrolling through Instagram at wannabe influencers: learn another dance sequence that we find on TikTok? Or do we allow this time to really connect with ourselves, to check in and see what wants to come up to be heard? Or  do we keep trying to keep it buried under mindless distractions or another glass of wine?

Listening to it is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. Any choices that we make today will determine our future. Let’s use this time wisely…

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